Each year people run around trying to find the perfect give for their Valentine. Everything from expensive jewelry to those little conversation hearts with "be mine" printed on it.
This year I am making a challenge to you. Why not give a gift that will never let your love die? A gift that will be just as rewarding to you as it is to your Valentine. Spouses, boy-friends, girl-friends, parents, sibling, children...the list goes on of who might hold the strings of your heart in this world. Best news of all, it doesn't cost a thing.
What is this amazing gift? The answer is easier to type than live, but the answer is selflessness.
What would our relationships with others be like if we had the attitude of "Will this help them more than me?" or "Will this encourage them and motivate them?" In a world with feelings of I want it now, I want it yesterday, I want more, gimme-gimme-gimme, we have hurt or are hurting those we love. Love should be about the other person's happiness, not our own. Although, as I have found in my life, the more I give to someone else the more joy I actually receive.
Long is gone the attitude of "better to give than to receive," or "it is the thought that counts."
I have a dear husband who hates telling me no about something. Many times in the past I have found out how much it crushes his heart when I ask if we can get dinner out and he has to tell me no. He isn't intentionally being cruel, he is being financially responsible. It took me awhile to really understand that he really hated saying no. I even learned that sometimes he would take us out anyhow, then later have to figure things out to make the bills even out. I was ashamed when I realized this...he still said yes, even though it made more work and stress on him. But, he did it because he loves me and wants to see me happy. Now I try to remember this before I ask. I try hard to not ask of him what he can't give easily. In order for us to take care of our family as a whole, I have to do without. Sometimes this is so hard. I am tired, I am emotional, and the last thing I want to do it cook. But the key words in the latter is I WANT. How pathetic is that? What about him. Working hard, paying bills on time and supporting our family mainly on his income. Shouldn't I think about him more than myself? Wouldn't he like to come home and relax and have a nice meal with his family after working all day? I love my husband and I am so grateful for his love to me. Lord knows, he has endured many years of my selfishness, my hormones, my mood swings, my bad attitudes.
I do not write this to brag about myself or flatter my husband. I honestly want others to feel the joy and the freedom that doing for others will bring. It breaks my heart when I hear a tired husband complaining that their wife is just impossible to please. How tired they are and just want help. Wives who won't work or don't contribute to the financial freedom by spending money carelessly or foolishly are destroying their husbands. or wives who complain that their husbands are too tight with money and lazy wanting to come home and rest after work. It is no surprise when one day they find them self in a loveless home. Sadly, they just can't see that they are the ones that caused their home to digress to that. Blame, of course, is also usually a form of selfishness.
What if we lived each day as if we are trying to win their love again? Taking a moment to do something to show how important they are to us. Nothing that is impossible, but just looking around for the little things that helps them feel loved an appreciated.
I have seen this displayed by my kids. Little notes left for me when I wake up or get home from work. One of them running to the kitchen to surprise me with my cup of coffee as soon as they heard my feet on the steps coming downstairs. Even going into my room, making my bed and laying a coloring page right on my pillow. Let me just say that those things make me feel incredible and so very loved.
I have a sister-in-law and brother who do little cutesy things for each other all the time. One day as my sister-in-law was going out the back door to work, she saw on his patio table that her husband had used his finger in the frost a heart with their initials inside it. Some might think this is childish or a waste of time but it really reflects a man who wants to keep a reminder to his woman that he is still her love. All of these things can be applied with the relationships and hearts of any one in our life, our home, our church, our work place. You might never know who needs someone to example selfless love and respect and if you haven't figured it out by now, the phrase, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." applies perfectly there. We shouldn't give to get, but thankfully, we will benefit from giving.
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone who reads this and I hope that this year will be the start of self less and more rewarding life.
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